She had passed me in the hallway and said “Hello”, did that mean she was interested? She saw me from a distance, but didn’t wave. Was she disinterested? Why would an intelligent, attractive female be interested in an ageing, married man anyway? Was she relationship averse, not even wanting a platonic relationship? Perhaps she prefers same sex relationships? She doesn’t seem to have any men in her life … not that I know about. Every time we meet at a social venue she’s with other females or alone.

My lady friend and I went out several times for lunch, dinner, coffee, and I enjoyed her company very much. But, I realised I had nothing to offer other than a platonic relationship. I was far too old for her, although that didn’t seem to bother her and other people we know are successfully paired with huge age differences. The biggest obstacle for me was that I have a wife, so it wasn’t as though we could easily be lovers. I could have accepted that. My desire for her wasn’t all physical … I would have been happy with a platonic relationship if nothing else was possible.

My sleepless nights, incessant thoughts about her and my cravings for her are still with me. I couldn’t believe that at my age with years of life experience I could be troubled in such a way. Was I losing the plot? I have tried to shake off this infatuation, but am still fighting it. I’ve never felt like this … ever. Why had this happened to me so late in life? Was it payback?

I decided to do some research on the Internet and see if I could find some solutions to my problem. All of a sudden I learnt a new word. Although I’m well read, highly educated and have extensive life experience, I had never heard this word before.

It has a pleasant sound to it. It flows off the lips. Better still, the word describes a psychological condition that matches what I feel exactly. Exactly.

No, I wasn’t losing the plot, I was suffering a well documented condition called Limerence defined as:

“an involuntary cognitive and emotional state characterized foremost by intrustive thinking, longing for reciprocation, and sensitivity to external events that signify uncertainty on the one hand, and hope of reciprocation on the other.”

Here was an explanation for the emotional upheaval I am facing. It’s involuntary. I didn’t “make” it happen. She didn’t make it happen. It just did. For the first time in my life.

So now there’s a couple of options. I have to tackle my demons by asking my “limerent object” to have a relationship so that I can get over this either by having the relationship I want, or facing the rejection that will eliminate any hope (limerence feeds on hope). Alternatively, I can avoid her and hope that my feelings subside. If not, this could go on for years, not a pleasant prospect when one’s emotions are going up and down constantly. Only time will tell.

I only hope that I have never caused another human being to suffer because I was their limerent object. If I have and you read this, I’m very, very sorry. I know just how it feels.

Copyright 2006 Robin Henry

Robin Henry is a human resources specialist and Internet entrepreneur. He runs his home based business from Central Australia and his main site is at Desert Wave Enterprises. He helps businesses improve performance through working smarter.

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Many brides choose to give favors at a wedding luncheon or formal wedding dinner, where the guest list is a more intimate gathering of family and close friends. This allows you to put more time and money into meaningful keepsakes than if you tried to give a favor to every guest at a larger scale wedding reception. However, some brides opt to send home small favors with everyone who attends their reception.

Remember that with these tokens, what’s on the outside is just as important as what’s on the inside. Presentation is everything! Use ribbons, wrapping, boxes, bows, and bags to the best advantage. A wedding favor is another way to restate your wedding theme, so think of gifts that fit the style or mood of your wedding and wrap them in colors and ribbons that match the day.

The possibilities for wedding favors are endless. Wedding favors can be as elaborate or as simple as you choose. For the most formal occasion you might consider an engraved silver bell or personalized chocolate, while a bunch of cinnamon sticks tied with raffia would be perfect for a country affair.

Other ideas for wedding favors include the ever-romantic candle - a votive candle for each guest, or several long, thin tapered candles tied together with ribbon. A picture frame that matches your wedding theme would be perfect for the guests to take home to frame a picture from the wedding day. Edible favors are always a favorite!

Confetti to throw at the departing couple is a favorite tradition, and confetti of many kinds can be packaged as a wedding favor. Birdseed can be placed in small sachet bags and the contents tossed at the couple at the end of the evening. Sweet-smelling rose petals matching the colors of the wedding, boxed to perfection and tied with beautiful ribbon, make a lovely token of remembrance.

Other brides provide each guest with a bottle of blowing bubbles. A sky full of floating bubbles can make a fairytale-like escape for the couple as they leave the reception. For a summer night departure, or after-dark winter sendoff, have guests light sparklers and stand in a row, lighting the path to the couple’s car with magical firelight.

Favors can be distributed in different ways. You can set the small gifts at each place setting at a luncheon or dinner. In this case, they can double as place cards or dress up a table setting. Alternatively, you can carefully bundle or prettily pile together on a table at a convenient location for guests to take one on their way home.

The presentation of favors is one of the most memorable and gracious gestures at a wedding. Give unique and thoughtful gifts that create special memories of your special day.

Margene Petersen

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Yes.

After all, did you know that this is the biggest step you will have to take on the way to getting anywhere with a new woman?

How is that so? Because there is an initial power game that exists between a man and a woman. And almost all men FAIL this initial power test or ‘pre-game’. That includes nice guys and even great catches too. It’s unfortunate but a beautiful woman expects and respects someone who is not afraid of her.

She wants a man to be a man. She expects him to be comfortable in his own skin AROUND HER (no matter how powerful she is or how much society edifies her).

There are so many men who keep getting rejected because the women are now representing a lot more social power than ever before and they just can’t find ANY possible way to justify or fix it within themselves because she ACTUALLY IS the social prize and IS very beautiful.

These sexy, beautiful and desired women..

They are used to being the ’stimulus’ for men to ‘respond’ to and ‘drool over’. If you approach a woman and your physiology represents that (in your relationship with her) she is the stimulus or ‘prize’ (like society conditions) and you are the response trying to ‘get some’ of that, you’re going to fail 9/10 times.

Despite the great irony of it all ‘pursuing’ a woman and showing great interest and attention doesn’t work. It’s happened to them literally a million times each.

They actually DON’T want to be on a pedestal in the relationship (despite their logical inner and social conditioning). Emotionally they HAVE TO BE attracted to you as a man.

That means, as the man you have to be the one SHE is interested in.

Society teaches you to edify her above your own interests (like they need even more edification). What women respect is men who aren’t afraid to be themselves. They respect men who will not change their behavior to act differently around women.

That’s why women fall for the bad boys and jerks. These are the guys who DIDN’T LISTEN to social programming. They were closer to the natural mating game and roots so that they could experience success with women consistently.

The only thing that has gotten in the way of millions of men’s success with women is their social conditioning FOLLOWED BY their own inner beliefs based on the social conditioning.

To resolve this great dilemma, each man should understand the truth about social influence and what it means so that he can regain his true independence, power and character to be what women want.

When he understands the root behavioral characteristics that women represent, he will finally be comfortable in his own skin and instead of being intimidated by these leveraged powers, he’ll be able to see the true woman inside of her.

And that includes the most beautiful women in the world for the time that she can bring out her natural character before she snaps back into her habitual social stimulus behavior or super-woman self.

-Rion Williams

Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power, body language and social dynamics.

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To end up as winner men need to understand what women want. Here is a list of seven qualities that every woman expects to see in their men:

1. Well groomed
Do women pay attention to the way a man is dressed?
Do women want men to open doors for them?

Just as men like their women to be pretty, women like their men to be well groomed. They expect their men to be courteous, well behaved and well mannered. Among other things, they expect them to know the social graces. They also expect them to be well dressed, and in tune with the fashion of the day. Men who are loud or bawdy are unlikely to win the attention of sensitive women. The same applies to those men who don’t pay sufficient attention to the way they look.

2. Good listener
Should men do what women want?
Listen carefully to what a woman says

All women want their men to pay attention to what they are saying. Men may not agree with their thinking but they should not make the mistake of looking bored or causal. They must pay attention, even if they don’t intend to do what their women want. The very fact that their point of view was considered before a decision was taken is enough to make the women happy. It is the basis of a strong relationship.

3. Good in bed
What do women want in bed?
Do women like to be forced?
How can women be made happy?

Every woman wants her man to be good in bed. They want to be aroused, and to be sexually fulfilled. The relationship has to be equal in the bed. The man must make an honest effort to fulfill the sexual needs of his women He should, however, not take advantage of a relationship. But he should respect those days when the woman wants to stay off. Women don’t like to be pushed into sex unless they are in a mood to do so. They would much rather prefer being cajoled and cuddled instead of being rushed into sex.

4. Honest and sincere
Do women want to know everything about their men?
Should men tell everything to women?

Two qualities that women value in their men are honesty and sincerity. They don’t want their men to cheat on them or to hold back anything from them. They would like to be equal partners in both the joys and sorrows of their men. Very often men try to hold back their problems related to work or their finances. This is not a good policy. Women feel more wanted and involved when their men take them into confidence. Men should also not try to delude women into false notions. They must gently inform them of their problems without being blunt or cruel. No woman wants to be told that she is ugly, fat or dumb. But, at the same time, they would not like their men to lie to them about their looks.

5. Stable career
How important is financial stability?
Are women after successful men?

Women want stability in their lives. They don’t want to be in a situation where they are forced to scrounge for favors. They would like their men to take care of all basic necessities of life. They would therefore prefer men who are successful and well organized. However, this does not mean that they want to hook the rich and the well placed. This is a wrong notion. Money and success alone is not enough to satisfy a woman.

6. Love for surprises
Should men give lavish gifts to win the love of women?
Gifts that women cherish the most

No woman wants to be tied to home and children. She would like some excitement in her life. This is where men need to be imaginative and thoughtful. The surprises need not be big; they can be as simple as enjoying an evening at the theatre, followed by a dinner at her favorite restaurant or it can be driving down to a resort at the weekend. The joy is multiplied if these bonuses come unannounced.

7. Intelligent and witty
Are witty men more charming?
How does intelligence matter in a relationship?

Women like their men to charm them. They would like them to be intelligent and witty, who can liven up the evenings and make a room come alive. Men who are dull and boring or too obsessed with their own musings are unlikely to enchant women. Women like men who are willing to chat with them on their wavelength.

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History is littered with men that fit this description. In 1896, Henry Ford built his first representative form of what would later be the Model T. By doing this, did he improve on the wheel? No, the original concept of the wheel was perfect. But by taking the already introduced components of the wheel, gas propulsion, axles, etc. and combining them, he becomes regarded as one of the greatest inventors of the modern era. All of the components of that automobile, which he ingeniously put together through creative thinking and the implementation of action, were already at his disposal. So what was the difference between Henry Ford and the other people of his time that were trying the exact same thing? Persistence. Persistence allowed a man with vision to take known sciences and materials to mold his passion to bring into existence a dream.

If history has exemplified anything it has shown us that there are people born each day that will grow into visionaries of the future. Visionaries who will take what is available to them, seen and unseen, and produce the next big thing. This all comes to the person who is not satisfied in complacency but takes risks on new ideas waiting to be discovered.Visionaries are out there because you are out there, waiting for you imagination to be charged. You can make yourself a part of history; how big a part is up to you.

Robert Reyes is a business entrepreneur who has been involved in raising businesses in several industries for the past 21 years.

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Perhaps, one of the reasons why many individuals assume that a car donation is too much work is because they try and donate their car on their own. With this, you must find and contact local charities or non-profit organizations. This could be extremely time consuming and there is even a chance that you will not find anyone who wants to accept your car donation. However, there is a way that you could make your next car donation count, a much easier way.

Instead of trying to donate your car on your own, you are advised to seek professional assistance. That assistance should come from a car donation program. Car donation programs exist all across the United States. Their goal is to make sure that non-profit organizations are given cars or, at least, the money for those cars. They do this by, personally, collecting the cars themselves. Then, they will spend their own time trying to find a non-profit organization for your car donation. Essentially, this makes donating a car as easy as it could possibly be.

As previously mentioned, most car donation programs will arrange for the pick up of your car donation, but not all will. For car donation at its easiest, you are advised to request a pickup. If one is not available, you will want to find a program that offers this additional feature. You will find that it will not only save you time, but even gas money. A well-known and reputable car donation program or center should be more than willing to pickup your donation for you, even if they do not outright advertise that they will.

If you plan on using your car donation as a deduction on your taxes, you will need to get the proper documentation. When using a car donation program, you will not always be provided with these documents upfront; they will often be sent to you after your vehicle has “officially,” been donated. To ensure that you do get the proper credit for your car donation, you are advised to request a small certificate of donation or pickup. This will ensure that you will be protected, in the event that anything should go wrong with the car donation program that you used. Although it is almost guaranteed that everything will go right, you are advised against taking any unnecessary risks.

By keeping the above mentioned points in mind, you should be able to donate your unused or unwanted vehicles with little or no hassle. It is likely that your donation will be greatly appreciated, by whoever gets it.

Mariah Cruz is a writer for Car Angel . com where you will see abundant amounts of information on things such as a Car donation and other related information.

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The world, everywhere is looking for leaders!

Governments need leaders of substances to bring about good governance. The organizations pay attractive remunerations for leaders who can build them to greater heights. Our communities need good leaders to establish social cohesion for a peaceful environment. Our homes need leadership to bring about love and harmony in the family. Good leaders are needed everywhere. It is surely a rare commodity and the recruitment is still on going.

Great organizations are not just looking for managers that manage their function well, but rather for leaders that can influence others for breakthrough results. Growing their people, their teams through empowerment and creative actions for winning over competitions.

Some examples of extraordinary leaders are: Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, etc..

What is leadership?

Rosalyn Carter once said, “A leader takes people where they want to go. A great and extraordinary leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go but ought to go!” That is extraordinary leadership, isn’t it!

We all know that leadership is all about INFLUENCE! Influencing lives, societies and the environment for the good of all. It is about sacrificial giving of service and not taking for selfish reasons. Can someone like us, who always deem ourselves, as ordinary people become extraordinary Leaders?

The answer is a definitely YES!

Let me convince you that it is possible. I will share with you 3 key principles about leading influence for extraordinary results.

“Ordinary people like you and me can have extraordinary influence in life!” We can impact people whom we serve, work with and lead, if we put these 3 key principles into daily application.” Walking the TALK not just WALK! NATO leading is not powerful and is not accepted by all. (N.A.T.O.which means No Actions Talk Only).

The 3 key principles with the alphabet, “I”, or I called it

The 3 Is of Leadership Influence.

That is:

I - INSPIRE the future.

I - IGNITE the spirit of innovations.

I - INSTILL the people with Faith, Hope and Love.

Let me now elaborate, firstly the I - INSPIRE the future.

Leadership is about looking at the future, future direction and future vision. As the wise saying goes, ” Without vision, people perish!” So leadership without vision kills not only the leaders but also the people they lead. We all need to have a direction of what is to come and leadership influence and inspiration for the people to move towards it is necessary.

Regarding direction. Let me share an ancient story which happened in the central province of Hang Zhou, China many years ago. There was a war that broke out in the North of the province. There was a young man; full of courage and faith, decided that he would go for the war with their warriors to defeat the enemy of the land. He prides himself, saying, I will go and fight the war and I will win. I will win because I have a sharp sword, strong horse and a brave heart! He was chanting his victorious war cry, “I have a sharp sword, strong horse and a brave heart, I will win the war for our country”.

However, along the way he met a wise old man who stopped him. “What are you doing, young man?” Answering with a confident voice, he replied, “Sir, I am going to the North to fight the war and I believe I will win the war as I have a sharp sword, strong horse and a brave heart.”

The wise man retorted, “young man, what makes you so sure that you will win the war? The war is in the North, but the direction you are heading is going South!”

How true, isn’t it. Leaders may have a good direction, but if they are heading to the wrong direction, then that is sure disaster!

Direction dictates vision. Vision empowers people to the future. But it is clear and shared vision that will harness people’s commitment and synergy towards true success.

So to become extraordinary, INSPIRE a shared vision among those we lead.

Next is about I - IGNITE the spirit of innovations. The future belongs to people and organizations that innovate. The saying goes, either we INNOVATE or we will EVAPORATE! Everyone in the organization must be responsible for innovation. Innovation is a result of people not the organization. People innovate, never the organization. It is leadership that empowers the people to unleash their creative potentials to the fullest. Leaders need to ignite the spirit of innovation by creating a climate through Respect, Trust and Effective Communication.

The power of innovation, is derived from people that add and multiply to life and not from those who minus and divide life. A positive and multiplying leader ignite the potential of those they lead to the similar positive and multiplying outcome. They look for ways to ADD value and areas to MULTIPLY impact on the organization. Good followers are influenced by good and effective leader. On the other hand, good leaders are encouraged and supported by strong followership as well.

Finally, let me share about the last I - INSTILL the people with Faith, Hope and Love. The leadership with significance is about modeling and pacing the people they lead and influence in living in Faith, Hope and Love. They need faith, since the future is full of uncertainty and challenges. Faith overcomes F.E.A.R (or False Evidence Appearing Real). Fear destroys and divides up people and is harmful. Faith on the other hand builds up courage to face and move mountains. So to lead extraordinary, instill faith not fear. Faith moves mountains and people. Have faith in God, self and people, then leadership influence will be very effective. Faith allows us to see those we lead like giants and not dwarfs. Faith also shapes the mindset of the leaders and their people to look at the future with opportunities and not with bleakness.

Hope gives people meaning to life and courage to face tomorrow.

Love brings the real meaning of our existence in life. Love builds relationship, brings harmony and the joy of life to those we serve.

Leadership that is extraordinary set pace and set example in the area of faith hope and love. Servant leadership influence people towards having faith, hope and love of the future, for their people, and the environment we all live in.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we should strive to become an extraordinary leader, to inspire as shared vision, ignite the spirit of innovations, and instill faith, hope and love for influence.

Dr. Daniel Choo is the Founder and Managing Director of Ephod Consulting Associates Pte. Ltd.

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Nowhere else would allow the car to get to that speed and be timed for long enough to say it actually could do this. The previous record for a production car was 242 mph round the Nardo track in Italy - and that required a great deal of skill by the driver to keep the car on the banked track!

This sort of speed - and the power to get there - are pretty much off the planet, but since then, other companies - with a fraction of the resources of Bugatti - have decided they should aim for 250 mph. ‘What for?’, you might ask. I guess it is a bit like saying the moon is there so let’s go there.

W-16, 1,001 bhp engine

The Bugatti Veyron is a very impressive car, powered by a W-16-cylinder 8.0 liter engine developing 1,001 bhp. The ‘4′ stands for the four turbochargers needed to boost the engine to that amount of power. The whole Bugatti project was the idea of Dr Ferdinand Piech, then chairman of the VW Group. He wanted VW to build a car to showcase technology and to move the goal posts so no one could get close. Evidently, during testing this engine was proved to be reliable when producing 1,200 bhp.

The car does showcase technology. The engine is similar to the W-12 installed in the Audi A8 and S8, and in turbocharged form in the Bentley Continental GT and Flying Spur.

The gearbox is also based on VW Group technology. It is a seven-speed sequential box with automatic or manual shifting. It has a dual clutch arrangement so that when you change gear the power continues to be transmitted all the time, one clutch disengaging exactly at the moment the other engages. Stunning technology that really delivers benefits.

The same concept is available in six-speed form in the VW Golf, Audi A3 and S3. It is called DSG. Of course, the Bugatti has a special version of this concept, made by Ricardo, a powertrain specialist in the UK.

The Bugatti has a carbon fiber structure, suspension like a racing car, and two large air intakes in the roof to keep that huge engine cool. Of course, the engine is mounted behind the driver and passenger but forward of the rear wheels.

Most exotic cars have rear-wheel drive, but the Bugatti Veyron 16.4 has so much power that it has four-wheel drive. Actually, some Audis, including the 450 bhp RS4, and all Lamborghinis - also in the VW Group - now have four-wheel drive. Again, the Bugatti is showcasing group technology

If you are wondering why four-wheel drive is needed, just think about it. With two-wheel drive there would be 500 bhp going through each tire! Most makers of supercars and exotic cars think that 300 bhp per tire is plenty.

Ok, so the Bugatti was timed at 248 mph, and reaches 60 mph in less than 3 seconds. Did the other makers of exotic cars give up, and say: ‘Well, we can’t match that’?

No, Pagani, produced the 650 bhp Zonda F with an option of 700 bhp. Saleen upped the power output of its S7 to 750 bhp, while Ferrari produced a few FXXs with 850 bhp, and Maserati also has a version of the MC-12 developing 750 bhp or so.

On the other hand Koenigsegg decided not to pursue the power race for the time being at least. After all its CCR has a 806 bhp engine, and was timed at 242 mph. Instead, Koenigsegg has introduced the CCX which is designed to meet US regulations and is a more practical street machine.

Others have decided to go for maximum power including one of the tuners of Porsche 911s. Then, a small British company is introducing a car with a turbocharged 7.0 liter V-8 with a power output of 1,000 bhp. They say that the engine could be tuned to 1,200 bhp.

More will follow down this route to madness. Me? I’d go for the 500 -600 bhp myself in a car that really handles and is very, very responsive. Like a Pagani Zonda or an Ascari KZ1.

Paul Cooper is an automotive and technical writer who specialises in high-performance cars, and runs a web site about exotic cars, http://www.1st-exotic-supercars.com, where you can learn more about exotic cars.

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by Invisus Security Solutions (Clifford Wall-Independent Security Advocate)

If you use the Internet - you are at risk. Internet predators and cyber-thieves are a real threat to your personal security and privacy. Your money, your computer, your family and your business are all at risk. You need professional strength security to stay safe online today. Get peace of mind. Let the experts at INVISUS manage your security for you, just like your phone service, your automobile maintenance, or your home security service.

Remember, never a charge for Technical Support at INVISUS, and we guarantee you we will Identity & Resolve your problem for you, regardless how long it takes. We will even give you support before you become a customer, if your machine is so infected that it interferes with completion of the Diagnostic Test-and that happens quite frequently; especially if you have 10,000 or more spywares or viruses on your machine.

1. The National Cyber-Security Alliance is a Consortium of Government Agencies & Private Industry Sponsors

They first sponsored National Cyber Security Awareness Month in October 2004 with the intent of increasing online security awareness among home users, small business and the education community.

This year’s National Cyber Security Awareness Month campaign is designed to increase the public’s awareness of cyber security and crimes issues, so that users can take precautions to avoid these threats on the Internet.

2. The Cyberhood Watch Internet Safety Campaign is An Important Part of the Grass-Roots Efforts by ISA’s with INVISUS

We Need Your Help in getting the word out. Help us to help every PC user that is connected and using the Internet to become responsible cyber citizens.

Share with your friends and neighbors this valuable information from the National Cyber Security Alliance and how they too, can have the same great service and protection that current subscribers are receiving from INVISUS.

By the way, INVISUS is a Latin Word, and it means to become invisible. And that’s what we do is make your computer Invisible to CyberCriminals and Professional Hackers.

3. Just Go Take The F^R^E^E^ Diagnostic Test That Will Show You Your Risk

Just go take the diagnostic test, determine your risk and get off the Spyware-Virus Treadmill & Stop Buying Renewal Software Every Year!

Don’t think that just because you bought one of those brightly colored boxes at your friendly computer store that you are protected. Keep in mind those software programs are at least (90) days old when you buy them and are only Entrly-Level Protection Programs [At Best] and the CyberCriminals are Depending upon you to buy one of those programs for they can hack one of those programs like a knive going through hot butter.

4. The Primary Reason Why Internet Users Will Continue To Be Victimized

In Today’s Fast-Paced Internet Environment, it is almost impossible for the average person to stay current with the Latest-And-Greatest Security Technologies available.

That fact alone is the primary reason why most people witll continue to be victimized by cyber-crime and experience privacy breaches…

And The Cyber-Criminals Know This!

That is why Cyber-Criminals have shifted their focus from Large Governmental Organizations and Companies to the Small-Business Owner and Individual Computer User; they know you can not afford to protect yourself the way the Larger Companies and Organizations do.

It’s like water seeking the path of least resistance.

The Future of Internet Security Is Here-Right Now…

Major corporations and government agencies have been successfully waging the war against cyber-crime by paying big money for professionally managed Internet security services. Hackers have now turned their attention to much easier targets - homes and small businesses.

While large institutions with deep pockets are able to defend themselves from constant attacks, the rest of us don’t have access to, and cannot afford to pay for corporate level managed security services - UNTIL NOW. The future is here, and it’s in managed Internet security services for the masses.

Mr. Clifford Wall is an Independent Internet Safety Advocate for INVISUS Security Solutions.

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So I was in the car business, and was virtually taught the wrong way to be a salesman or salesperson. When it comes to shopping for a car, overall it becomes somewhat a rather unpleasant experience for all parties involved. Here is a typical day in the car business: You wake up in the morning to put on the shirt and tie for the day in the middle of July in Florida. Its about one hundred degrees with humidity. You get in the car and drive to work asking yourself, why……why….. because you know there is going to be an unpleasant experience waiting somewhere around the corner.You arrive at work and find yourself getting ready for the morning “meeting abuse” which always ends up that we are terrible salesman and we need to sell cars! Really? We need to sell cars? Ok. So, after the meeting we all leave the room with bruises and bumps and we are ready to practice the art of being a salesman.

For those of you who do not know, when a person arrives on the lot to car shop, he is referred to as an “up” in the car business. Usually, all of the salespeople are lined up outside like vultures waiting for an “up” so we can swoop in and turn on the really lame salesman charm. Now, at this point, you meet the customer. “Hi, my name is Dave” (smile). Then, the customer replies, “Were just looking”. Of course they are just looking. Not by the time I get through with you. By the time we get through with you, you might be running out the door and never look back.

So, Im following the “We are just looking” people around the lot because if I don’t, I will get yelled at by the powers that be. The potential customers that I am with do not want me near them at all at this point.And with good reason. Car shopping and or buying is the equivalent of going to the dentist. It can be a painful experience.

Now I am asking the nice folks on the lot all types of questions, trying to create trust and learning something about them that will help me sell to them. This is an ok method for the car business, because this is the way it has been taught. Now the problem from the “get go”, is that most customers back then were the old school. To them, car buying was rolling up your sleeves and get ready to do battle. That’s really not the way I want to make a living, but that’s what it was.

So, what do you really have from this? You have uninformed people at all angles. First of all, customers come onto the lot thinking their “trade-in” is worth a fortune. And to there surprise, it’s not. They did not do their own research on their “trade-in”. Second, they don’t know what they want. They want to spend no money on a car they can not afford to begin with. Again, they did not do their research.

Now, another problem. As a salesman, if you are going to make it in the business of selling anything, you have to rise above everyone else and figure out a strategy that is going to attract people to you automatically without being annoying and pushy from the start. I noticed that most of the salesman on the lot were not doing anything but waiting for something to happen, and unfortunately I was one of them. Because I didn’t know either.

Now, when I could not close someone, here comes the sales manager thinking he’s the be all to end all and that the “hammer them” into the car technique is going to work. You see the philosophy behind most selling in the car business, as an example ,is if they leave here without buying from us, they will never buy from us.Well, maybe your right. But let’s not forget. In the world of sales, let the salespeople do their job by giving there potential customers all of the information they need to make a well informed decision. And if they don’t buy today, let them remember you and your salesmanship and whatever great strategy you came up with for them to make the buying process easier. Believe me, after they have been everywhere else, they will remember you.The “in your face” approach does not work anymore.

David Weeks writes articles on marketing, personal finance, and network marketing. He also has a free course on network marketing “The 5 Phases Of Network Marketing” located at http://www.the5phasesofnetworkmarketing.com.

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